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It's everyone's favourite movie about a stoned bowler who gets embroiled in a kidnapping plot, but in Lego. One day we'll wake up and the whole world would've transformed into Lego. The trees, the sun, the moon. Now that's a Twilight Zone episode waiting to happen.
This looks like one of the greatest films ever made, it's got everything a decent movie should have: girls in bikinis and those same girls also, for a change, in their underwear. Who needs a plot or character development when you have hot babes?
The movies can teach us so much. Forget TV and don't even talk to me about the malicious lies of the web. It's all about the moving image in its feature form format. Rats, hairy green midgets who properly talk cannot, high school kids, Robin Williams. Full of it, the lot of 'em.
Now this is a film trailer. This not only makes you want to watch this film, but drag all your friends and a bunch of strangers along too. This is how you advertise a movie not with some gravelly voiced dunce talking about how "It was a time, for heroes. It was a time for heroes with America in their name..." Blah, blah, whev!
There's no other reason you need to watch this video other than it has a ninja in it. That's right, a ninja. Fortunately he's managed to slow down his usual sonic speed so we can actually see him. We've got this ninja to thank for saving the planet from those evil plastic bottles. A true hero.
Here they are, all those adverts you've probably seen already condensed into a handy two minutes so you can, you know, rewatch them like you would your favourite movie. Because they're like little mini-movies except there's no plot, they're hawking some crud and...they're not like movies at all actually. Apart from the product placement.
The Mark Zuckerberg movie made and written by Mark Zuckerberg. Surprisngly he comes out looking like shit wouldn't stick even if it was the really gloppy kind. Then he goes on to kill the evil bad man, rescue the girl, and save the entire human race. Instead of enslaving them to a machine.
Looks like they've brought out the gimp, dressed him up in his most expensive gimp suit and played his favourite song. Maybe it's his birthday or something and so on this special day he's allowed out to bust some moves. And boy can he move.
This is a giant march forward for the female of the human kind type. The chaperone can check out their butt when they bend over or if they're crawling along the ground. Then when they can't load their weapon, they can make an inappropriate weapon innuendo and tell them to go make them a goddamn sammich.
This woman is called Stoya and she seems pretty insane, just watch this video and you'll see why. But she does seem like the sort of person it'd be great to go out and drink a bottle of tequila with before you both blacked out and woke up in Wyoming with a warrant out on you for crimes against common decency.
This is a restaurant, called Kayabuki, in Utsunomiya, Japan. Now in some restaurants you might get the waiters and waitresses dressed up in strange or amusing clothes to create an atmosphere, but here they've got a monkey dressed up like a doll. The. Horror.
If you've never used Lee Marvin as a musical instrument, then you haven't really lived. Just take Angie Dickinson here, performing this minimalist masterpiece using Lee's body as a drum kit. Get Humphrey Bogart's noggin for a bongo and you'll fill stadiums.
Drunken Shamings Hall Of Fame! (external)
You've passed out due to one to many shandys and your friends have taken the liberty of abusing your comatose body. Most of this abuse you wouldn't want to be awake for but you would be sad you missed some of the things the girls are doing.
The Superbowl, time for the advertising world to bring out the big guns and throw money at a commercial like it was a money-eating monster who needed to be sated otherwise it would steal the world's children. So we get Eminem advertising Chrysler. All serious like.
Forget skateboards, they are so 2009. And BMX? Pffff! Lameoid. If you really want to show that you're more street than concrete. That you're so urban people lock their bike on your leg, then this object of extreme sitting will set you apart from the crowd.
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