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The Sassy Gay One takes on Natalie Portman's tale of weird ballet breakdowns and bendy legs. The only thing in that movie that was in any way something positive was when Mila Kunis jumped into bed with Portman. But then it turns out to be a dream. Gutted.
Puberty can be a helluva time in a person's life. All those hormones racing through your body, causing you to hate. You discover drink, drugs, facial hair. You party on and up, then come down. And what better way to sum it all up than in a one minute black and white animation. Because that's what it kind of feels like.
If Leo thinks entering meta-dream worlds to implant information in someone's head is difficult, then he should try cooking. All those pots, all those pans. The gas, the heat that can't be stood. And that's not even beginning to think about trying to produce the perfect jus.
You Wanna Do WHAT!? (external)
Females, sometimes there's no logic to them, however much you try to rationalize it, so i guess the best thing is to let them get on with it (especially if it means the removal of clothes), whatever the hell they think they're doing?
There are all sorts of body types, aren't there? You've got your pear shaped, your curvaceous hourglass, you've got your boyish skinny, you've got your apple. Well now, it seems, women have had enough and are now renaming body shapes after famous artists. They are not a fruit! Is it April Fool's day already?
Spock, he's always occupied with that scanner, isn't he? It seems every waking moment of his life he's over there, glancing into it, checking what's going on, seeing if any thing's updated. Just what the heck can be so important that it takes up so much of his time!? Ah, that's why. Saynomore.
This is pretty impressive, but next time try it with a can opener instead of a ring pull, even a cat can open one of those. It's all fun and games now, but just wait until it starts walking on its hind legs and getting you to open packets of mustard with your feet for the joys of its fellow canines.
Holy f*cking crapwad. Prepare to shit some kind of rectangular cuboid made of ceramic materials, because what you are about to gaze upon with your very peep holes is all computer generated. Not a single frame of real footage in there. *In before reality is questioned*
In a postmodern twist that would have Baudrillard spitting simulacras, on their last day on the International Space Station the Discovery crew get woken up to the Star Trek theme and William Shatner's voice in some kind of meta-reality/fiction hybrid. Just wait until the Cylons attack, then we'll wish science fiction was just that.
The deadly serious shouty epic meal guy takes to the streets and brings his gluttonous eating abilities to your neighbourhood. Well, this guy's neighbourhood. Because to truly clog up your arteries with congealed dead cow you need an expert on hand to supervise. You wouldn't want your meat building to not have enough bacon walls, would you?
Goddamn slebs, jumping on the bandwagon when it comes to memes. That is, when they're not unwittingly part of one. And so it goes, Jennifer Aniston and various memes whore themselves to sell bottled evil. Or, rather, bottled water. You know, that stuff that causes excess packaging and wasted resources, that you can alternatively get as much as you want on tap.
In the vain hope that collecting money for charity will put some meaning into his worthless existence Misery Bear goes door-to-door trying to raise sponsorship. But people hate him. Then he meets a kindly supermodel and things finally start to look up. But, this being Misery Bear, only briefly...
Most dogs are pretty awesome, and if you own one you probably think it's the best thing in the world. And that's fair enough. But is your dog immortal? No, it's not. Then it's not quite as cool as this dog, is it? This dog lives for eternity and cannot be killed. Fetch that.
The joy of game shows involving word games is every now and then a rude or offensive word will show up, making everyone giggle like school kids in a sex ed class. And this is one of those times, featuring the word that comes at the end of certain adult orientated movies.
Watching Drunk Girls Kiss (external)
More exciting than watching your first child being born whilst walking on the moon on an IV drip of cocaine, or winning the superbowl & then discovering you have superpowers. Too bad you won't remember it in the morning.
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